Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Silly Jokes

Theres a Russian, a Cuban, an Englishman and a Pakistani on a train, the Russian takes out a bottle of his best vodka, drinks a bit and throws the rest off the train and says 'theres plenty more of that where i come from'.
The others are impressed so the Cuban takes out one of the finest havana cigars, takes one puff and throws it off the train and says 'theres plenty more of those where i come from'.
Again everyone is rather impressed so the Englishman stands up and throws the Pakistani off the train..... 
 I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name. 

The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word " definitely " in a sentence
Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?
The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny,
To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely s**t my pants". 
 I was having as meal in a chinese restaurant, and didn't much like the chicken I'd been served, so I called the waiter over and said, "this chicken is rubbery", to which he replied, Ah fan you velly mush!!

A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a pool ball.
The barman screams at the man, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the man. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out and eats it.

The barman is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey just did ?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the man. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first." 
hehe, i told you they were silly!

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